Mary had a little pig,/
She kept it fat and plastered;/
And when the price of pork went up,/
She shot the little bastard.

Watch, in 35 yrs. the liberals will claim he's American and run him for POTUS. I knew it was all a scam. http://ping.fm/JaGEL

Happy, I started to sing. Wonder if that has something to do with the fire sirens going off?

I would be unstoppable if I could just get started.

One advantage of getting older. Your secrets are safe with friends. They can't remember them either. http://ping.fm/m2hxO

Are you a real redneck? Have you been married three times and still have the same in-laws?

You're too old to "Trick or Treat" when you keep knocking on your own front door.

A will is a dead giveaway.

Ever notice? When repairing car - after your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. http://ping.fm/jzSgE

RULE OF THE THEATRE:
People with the seats at the furthest from the aisle arrive last.
http://ping.fm/gFGtn